i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
