M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize