What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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