did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
