and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
