I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
