What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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