Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
