I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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