were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
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