Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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