I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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