Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
