i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize