My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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