Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
