i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
