If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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