They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
