i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
