Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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