Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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