Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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