i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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