It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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