Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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