The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize