This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
one might say we're banned from that church
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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