Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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