are you so shy because you have an std?
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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