i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
