if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
