I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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