Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
