Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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