Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
