No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
