I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
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