did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
