My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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