My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
