When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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