He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
