I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
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