I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
