i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
