Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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