Just fell off a train. Bad.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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