I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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