Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
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