I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
