i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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