I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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