hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
