im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
