well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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