Plan B is the new Plan A
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
