I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I think a kid would responsible me up
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
